Thursday, November 24, 2011

Star Wars sucks

REACT! 
I really don't get how people, and supposedly techies, like this movie... It sucks in every possible way. I can understand EVERY single scientific error in a movie. I forgive every thing like "sound in space" or "lasers traveling slower than the speed of light" even though I am a fan of hard sci-fi. What I cannot forgive is flawed logic, unless the movie was supposed to be surrealistic, but I suppose it was not. Lets see:

1. It's the future. Everybody uses laser guns but for some reason some people insist in using swords??? Seriously? Yeah I know what you will say: with the force they can be fast enough to block lasers with it. Well that very convenient... Why hasn't anybody made a laser gun with three barrels that form a triangle? That way the lightsaber could only block two out of three lasers! It's simple geometry. It's not even science. Yeah he could use a hand at the same time to block the third one you'll say... Well, make a laser gun with 6 barrels for fuck's sake and wipe those Jedi off the universe!
Imagine that the One Ring could melt in boiling water, and yet the fellowship is taking a trip to Mordor to destroy it. It's ridiculous and I couldn't stop thinking how ridiculous this is throughout the movies.

2. The force SO obviously exists and still nobody believes in it and everybody considers it an old religion. I mean, Vader is telekinetically chocking people, people that use swords survive in battle because of the force, the fucking emperor is using the force and still the people that have the technology and the knowledge to make, drive and maintain spaceships that can warp, somehow refuse to accept the force's existence. Are we fucking serious? Obviously, Lucas hated non-religious people and wanted to mock them by parallelizing religious people with the Jedi and non-religious people with all those folks in the movie that are stupid and ignorant enough not to see the obviously existing force.

To sum up my rant: the Star Wars universe is a complete joke. Lucas was probably a teen when he tried to make a universe with knights, swords, a wild-west-like society with warp drive technology, spaceship racing, and he obviously failed. We should be grateful that he didn't put dinosaur-shaped spaceships in it too.

PS: Star trek is way better.

PS2: The only things I liked in Star Wars were Vader and R2.

PS3: Yoda is a prick. Skywalker was sent to Yoda's planet for training. And Yoda not only didn't introduce himself but he also got disappointed because Skywalker actually wanted to train and not spend his time dinning with the first random green piece of shit that he found on the planet. This is called eagerness, not lack of patience, Lucas!

Popular Posts